In the book "
Captivating" by John and Staci Eldridge it says "As large as
the role that our mothers play, the word
mother is more powerful when used as a verb than as a noun. All women are not mothers but all women are called
to mother. To mother is to
nurture, to train, to educate, to rear. In doing this women partner with Christ in the vital mission of bringing forth life." My amazing son, Brad is 20 and will be 21 the end of May. I'll never forget when I had him, Bill looked at me across the delivery room and mouthed the words, "thank you!" He had a son! It was such an easy pregnancy AND delivery! Brad was much like his sister by being a very good happy baby. My Mom said I was really lucky to have had TWO good babies that liked to sleep and were happy most all the time. I am thankful. Brad was misdiagnosed (unknown to us at that time) in December of 2008 with
Crohn's Disease. His symptoms were treated with medicine and he went into remission/symptoms went away, for 2 years. Shortly before Brad, Bill, and I ran in the
Cowtown his symptoms returned. We scheduled the doctor appointment and procedure which we knew was inevitable and necessary for this etiology. The doctor gave us news that it was not
Crohn's but that the biopsy was positive for
Ulcerative Colitis. This falls under the umbrella of etiologies called
IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Diseases). We are learning and studying and we are happy with our doctor. However, today, I think I hit a wall, to speak in runner's terms. You know when you reach that point of pain when running that you think you can't go on, but then you do and the endorphins kick in, the natural cortisone flows and your pain vanishes and you break through the runner's wall? Well, I think I had a wall experience today.
Brad and me in Dallas at the end of his portfolio shoot with photographer Jenny
Martell.
My silly son!
He has always been a happy guy who loves life and makes being his Mom, fun!
Today he went back to his doctor to see why his flare up (as we have now learned they call it, with
Ulcerative Colitis) has flared up again. After his hospital visit, antibiotics, steroids, and
Mesalamine he started to settle down pretty quick but then all flared again. I let him go by himself to the doc today and I stayed at work. I know I need to start letting him do some of these things solo now, and learn to be his own health care advocate. I won't be around forever. The doc said he should take an additional medicine and see how that works. If not then he can start IV Medicine every two weeks for a while and see if that will put his symptoms back in remission. Wow. OK, we can do that. I am reminding myself to think on the positives, it IS treatable, it is not cancer, it is not terminal, there are so many things that could be worse. But you know, we Moms, we want to DO something. When my babies were sick I could ALWAYS do so many things. I could take their temp, bathe them, sing to them, soothe them, take them to the pediatrician and do everything he advised and more. I am so sure God created us Moms to thrive on DOING things and doing LOTS of things to help, nurture, and support our loved ones. We drive them crazy sometimes doing all we do for them! It's how God created us women and moms! We live to do! Truly, I would give my life for either of my kids! Today, I couldn't think of anything else I can DO right now. I found myself feeling really irritated and then angry. After work I went and did just
Cardio at the Summit. First the bike and then wore out the treadmill. I still felt frustrated and mad. I couldn't put my finger on why? I went home and cooked, served, and cleaned up dinner. (I was busy doing!) I still didn't feel better. I drug Bill to Home Depot to pick out a new light fixture for Melissa's old closet and look at chandeliers for our closet and for a paint roller shield for some more interior painting we have to do. I still didn't feel any better. Then as I pondered and finished my paperwork for tomorrow it dawned on me, I was mad because there is nothing right now I can DO to make these
IBD symptoms just go away! I am a mad Mom because I want to DO something to fix it and make it all better right now and I can't! I verbally vented to Bill and he listened. I have to now trust the doctor, help Brad follow his guidance, pray of course, pray, and seek God, Jehovah
Rapha, the God of healing, to heal my son and for Brad's
IBD to go back into remission, and soon! Philippians 4:6,7 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which
passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus." Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." As daughters of Eve, John and Staci Eldridge say that all women are uniquely gifted to help other in their lives become more of who they truly are-
to encourage, nurture, and mother them toward their true selves. In doing this, yes, we do "partner with Christ" in a vital role and mission of bringing forth life. The
Eldridges say that "we mother each other when we offer our concern, our care, our comfort. We mother each other
when we see a need and rise to meet it whether it is a sweater for a friend who is chilly, a meal for a struggling family, or a listening ear for a friend who is hurting." God created us this way! I shouldn't feel guilty or try to stop myself from "
smothering" nor should I fear being made to stop "mothering". As Rick Warren says, this is "my shape". This is part of how God created me and part of my purpose! The
Eldridges sum it up best when the wrote, "While our hearts drink deeply and rest in God's good heart, HE "mothers" us and created us to be the women we truly are. A woman who partners with God in bringing forth
life in this damaged world- offering, loving, inviting others to become who they were meant to be - she
is a mother indeed. She- like God- offers Freedom and Life."
Brad and me in Dallas at the end of his portfolio shoot with photographer Jenny Martell. 
My silly son! 
He has always been a happy guy who loves life and makes being his Mom, fun! 
Today he went back to his doctor to see why his flare up (as we have now learned they call it, with Ulcerative Colitis) has flared up again. After his hospital visit, antibiotics, steroids, and Mesalamine he started to settle down pretty quick but then all flared again. I let him go by himself to the doc today and I stayed at work. I know I need to start letting him do some of these things solo now, and learn to be his own health care advocate. I won't be around forever. The doc said he should take an additional medicine and see how that works. If not then he can start IV Medicine every two weeks for a while and see if that will put his symptoms back in remission. Wow. OK, we can do that. I am reminding myself to think on the positives, it IS treatable, it is not cancer, it is not terminal, there are so many things that could be worse. But you know, we Moms, we want to DO something. When my babies were sick I could ALWAYS do so many things. I could take their temp, bathe them, sing to them, soothe them, take them to the pediatrician and do everything he advised and more. I am so sure God created us Moms to thrive on DOING things and doing LOTS of things to help, nurture, and support our loved ones. We drive them crazy sometimes doing all we do for them! It's how God created us women and moms! We live to do! Truly, I would give my life for either of my kids! Today, I couldn't think of anything else I can DO right now. I found myself feeling really irritated and then angry. After work I went and did just Cardio at the Summit. First the bike and then wore out the treadmill. I still felt frustrated and mad. I couldn't put my finger on why? I went home and cooked, served, and cleaned up dinner. (I was busy doing!) I still didn't feel better. I drug Bill to Home Depot to pick out a new light fixture for Melissa's old closet and look at chandeliers for our closet and for a paint roller shield for some more interior painting we have to do. I still didn't feel any better. Then as I pondered and finished my paperwork for tomorrow it dawned on me, I was mad because there is nothing right now I can DO to make these IBD symptoms just go away! I am a mad Mom because I want to DO something to fix it and make it all better right now and I can't! I verbally vented to Bill and he listened. I have to now trust the doctor, help Brad follow his guidance, pray of course, pray, and seek God, Jehovah Rapha, the God of healing, to heal my son and for Brad's IBD to go back into remission, and soon! Philippians 4:6,7 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus." Proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." As daughters of Eve, John and Staci Eldridge say that all women are uniquely gifted to help other in their lives become more of who they truly are- to encourage, nurture, and mother them toward their true selves. In doing this, yes, we do "partner with Christ" in a vital role and mission of bringing forth life. The Eldridges say that "we mother each other when we offer our concern, our care, our comfort. We mother each other when we see a need and rise to meet it whether it is a sweater for a friend who is chilly, a meal for a struggling family, or a listening ear for a friend who is hurting." God created us this way! I shouldn't feel guilty or try to stop myself from "smothering" nor should I fear being made to stop "mothering". As Rick Warren says, this is "my shape". This is part of how God created me and part of my purpose! The Eldridges sum it up best when the wrote, "While our hearts drink deeply and rest in God's good heart, HE "mothers" us and created us to be the women we truly are. A woman who partners with God in bringing forth life in this damaged world- offering, loving, inviting others to become who they were meant to be - she is a mother indeed. She- like God- offers Freedom and Life."
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