We are like the woman at the well...

My favorite religion professor at Baylor was my New Testament professor, my uncle, Dr. W.J. Wimpee. The lecture I remember most was his teaching about the woman at the well from the book of John, chapter 4. We are so like this woman. Christ came to her, she a Samaritan, he approached her and asked her to "Give me a drink". Jews hated Samaritans because they were a mixed race. She was known to be living in sin and was in a public place. No respectable Jewish man would would talk to a woman under such circumstances. But Jesus did! The gospel is for everyone, no matter what race, social position, or past sins. We must be prepared to share this gospel at any time and in any place. Jesus crossed all barriers to share the gospel, and we who follow him must do no less.
Aren't we so much like her? We are sinful and in a disgraced position, yet He comes to us right where we are and offers us not only the most important gift of eternal life, freely given, but he offers us forgiveness, freedom, joy, hope, healing, peace, wisdom, all the spiritual gifts like mercy, exhortation, knowledge, miracles, discernment, prophecy, teaching, stewardship, ministry and more! The fruit of the Holy Spirit is ours to receive if we just believe He died to pay for our sins and we accept that free gift of eternal life!
Back to this fascinating woman sitting by this well of Jacob in Samaria! Jesus honored her and elevated her as a woman just by speaking to her! Then honored her again by asking her to give him a drink! Then He went on to tell her of living water, analogous to the gift of salvation! Our God, our Christ, models the honoring of women and demonstrates the act of lifting up the position of all women everywhere! He also modeled how we are not to discriminate based on race. Christ didn't harshly judge her for living in sin. She was amazed that he knew all about her private life yet he shared with her and challenged her to worship the Father in spirit and truth. She was quick to go back to the town and call others to come see "a man who told her everything I ever did!" Despite her reputation many took her invitation and came to meet Jesus. Perhaps we are ashamed of sins in our past but Christ changes us! As people see these changes, they become curious! Use these opportunities to introduce them to Christ!

When you "think" God is being silent...

A co-worker loaned me a copy of the book "You only think God is Silent - Hearing God in the defining moments of our lives", by Julie Ann Allen, shortly after he lost his mother to cancer. Little did I know I would suffer the loss of my own mother the following year to Leukemia.
Julie Allen lost her husband to a freak construction accident where he was accidentally buried under large pieces of cement that should have been carried off the work site along with tons of dirt. A track hoe driver failed to check for her husband's whereabouts before burying some large pieces of concrete in a trench. Julie shares in her book how God's Grace sustained her and "lifted her out of the muddiest, darkest, most pitiful, and sorrowful place she could have imagined. More than that, God, put a song back in her heart."
Julie now lives in Grapevine, Texas and has two children. She is a deacon in music ministry at the United Methodist Church.
Julie says she "learned what it was like to stand at a crossroad generated by tragedy and make a choice. That choice became a defining moment. She could either ignore God and/or blame Him for the tragedy, or hear God and rely on Him to sustain her, transform her, and reconstruct her life as she passed through this profound tragedy."
I keep these scriptures printed out and taped on my bathroom mirror, a copy in my Bible, and share them often with others.
My favorite scriptures are the ones she used throughout her book:

James 1:2-4 "My brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance; and let endurance have it's full effect, so that you may be mature and complete lacking in nothing."

Psalm 59: 16-17 "But will sing of thy might; I will sing aloud of thy steadfast love in the morning. For thou hast been to me a fortress and a refuge in the day of my distress. O my strength, I will sing praises to thee, for thou, O God, art my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love."

John 14:27 " Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled and do not be afraid."

Romans 8:26 "In the same way the spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."

John 16:33 "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit."

Job 42 16-17 "After this Job lived a hundred and forty years; he saw his children and their children to the fourth generation. And so he died old and full of years."

Isaiah 40:11 "He will feed his flock like a shepherd/; He will gather the lambs in his arms, and carry them in his bosom, and gently lead the mother sheep."

Jeremiah 29:11 "For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope."

Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Psalm 23:4 "yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me."

Psalm 37:5-6 "Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this; He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun."

Isaiah 55:12 "For you shall go out in joy, and be led back in peace."

Psalm 30:11 " You have turned my mourning into dancing; You have taken off my sackcloth and have clothed me with joy."

Psalm 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands."

Deuteronomy 31:8 " It is the Lord who goes before you; He will be with you, He will not fail you or forsake you."

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

James 1:20 "For man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God; will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

John 14:27 " Peace I leave you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Isaiah 40:31 "And they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."

Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith."

Hebrews 12:1 "...Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."

Philippians 3:12 " Not that I have already obtained this or have reached the goal; but I press on to make it my own, because Jesus has made me his own."

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Comforting the grieving

As a pastor's wife, I have had the blessing of visiting many precious people and their families at times of joy and at times of painful grief. As a young woman, I was unsure what to say but after many years of comforting others and then after losing both of my parents I have learned that the less you "say", the better. All you need to do is say "I'm sorry" and be present with them. Offer a hug and just be there. The majority of people fear going to the dentists, taxes, and attending funerals. Don't avoid going to funerals for loved ones of your friend and family. Go, no matter how much you fear going or just don't want to go, go. It means much more than you will ever know if you simple go, sign the book, say I'm so sorry, offer a hug and just do the ministry of presence. It will bless you more than you know and mean alot to the grieving person. They will remember you were there.
My daughter told me when she was first dating her now husband, Jonathan, that he was so thoughtful and good about going to funerals when he knew someone who suffered the lose of a loved one. She admired this about Jonathan.
I still remember how deeply it touched me to look up and see three of my dear friends from high school at my mother's funeral, Kelly Cole, Lisa Eady, and Dennis Vick all came to my mother's service. That meant so much to me. Also, our church ministerial staff came all the way from Grand Prairie to San Angelo to be at Mom's service! I just cried when I saw them. it meant more to me than I can express that they got up so early and drove 4 hours to come and show their support and care.
Don't be afraid, you don't have to know what to say, just say, "I'm sorry".
Accepting our own mortality, the fact that we will all die someday, is a big step toward mental and emotional maturity and health. Comforting your friends in times of need is a very healthy thing to do and just a part of life.
"And so, as those who have been chosen of God, Holy and Beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12

Turn Up The Music!

Turn up the Music! I love the song by this title done by Point of Grace! It captures the essence of how I want to live! The chorus says, "Turn up the music, turn it up loud. Take a few chances, Let it all out!, You won't regret it, Lookin' back from where you have been, cause it's not who you knew, and it's not what you did, it's how you live!
The 2nd verse says, " Kiss all your children, Dance with your wife, tell your husband you love him, every night."
Isn't that just so simple and so easy! As Nike says, "Just do it!"
I am so blessed with a wonderful man and friend as my husband that I get to tell that I love him every night! Bill is the son of a wonderful Godly father, Irv Skaar. Irv was always teased by relatives that he had 4 "perfect kids!" Irv was always raving about his children and how perfect they each are. Well, it's true and I have the privilege and blessing of being married to perfect kid #1! I'll always remember how Bill made me laugh until I cried on a date to Red Lobster back in our Baylor/Waco days! He was telling me the cutest story about a resident named "Roy" who lived at the quarter house in Mexia, Texas where Bill was a weekend house parent. This helped Bill earn extra money for college. Bill tells how "Roy" would talk and dream of one day kissing a beautiful lady "right on the lips!" It's so funny and sweet to hear Bill tell it. "Roy" was an older resident with mental retardation and he had not yet had his first kiss with a lady. So sweet. I also remember so well walking across Baylor campus and it was almost as if God spoke audibly, in reply to my petition, asking God if perhaps Bill might be "the one" for me and God said "yes, my child, this is he. This is the man I have for you to spend the rest of your life with". Bill was the first guy I dated that I felt truly at ease around and loved unconditionally. He always was good at making me laugh and still is! I had written out a list of everything I wanted in a potential mate and he absolutely met everything I had written down! I still have that list in my wedding book. I am so blessed to be married to my best friend and lover. I am so proud of him and I love watching him minister. I also love being by his side at church, in hospital rooms, and wherever the ministry takes us, together. God is so good!
I am also very blessed to have an amazing daughter, Melissa Nicole! We had been married over 4 years and decided to start our family. It took over 8 months of trying to get pregnant that first time and we were so excited! I was working as a speech therapist and had to go on bed rest at 7 months due to pre-eclampsia. My blood pressure started spiking and my kidneys were having a hard time. Delivery of the baby is the only cure or pre-eclampsia. I was good and stayed in bed and carried her to term! She was so tiny! 4 pounds and 11 ounces when we took her home! She was practically bald until about 2 and then her fabulous hair came in and wow! My mom always called Melissa's hair, "God's abundance!" She was and is truly beautiful with big brown eyes and was so tiny but so articulate at such an early age, people were amazed wherever we took her! Here was this tiny baby girl walking and talking and displaying this gorgeous mane of hair! She looked much younger than she was, due to her tiny size, and she walked very early. Melissa is amazingly smart, if I might brag on her, and yet very kind and sensitive to others. I'll never forget one day as a poor preacher's wife in Brookshire, Texas, we were struggling to make ends meet and I was staying home with my toddler, money was tight. Our checking account had somehow gotten overdrawn and I was scared. I sat down and cried, overwhelmed and trying to figure out how this happened and what to do. I was thinking that Melissa was busy playing and wouldn't notice but I was wrong. She came near, climbed in my lap, wiped my tears, hugged me, and said, "don't cry mommy, it'll be ok!" Her sweet little smile, hug, and tender fingers wiping my tears was all the reassurance I needed and she was so right! It was all gonna be more than ok! Neither Melissa or I had a sister so I think that is why we are best friends and always were! Yes, I did fill the parent role when needed but we have always enjoyed the blessings of being "friends". She is beautiful inside and out and she is so much like her daddy! They are both "right" and they can both crunch the most complex numbers in their heads so easy! They both remember what they have heard! They are both great speakers and singers. They are both musical and amazing at math, history, words, trivia, debate, watching sports, golf, and leading the pack when we have a big or small group navigating a week at Disney World! I love Melissa so much and I couldn't imagine how I would have enough love for another child! (but I did!) I have to be careful to not just follow her around when she's here to visit now! I just want to soak up every second of her presence when she's here! I am now the only female in the house, since she married and moved to Houston. I miss her but I am glad she is now married to her best friend and has a great job.
4 years after we had Melissa we wanted one more child and it was easier and faster to get pregnant the 2nd time. Melissa was excited and Bill and I were as well! One more little Skaar on the way! We hoped for a boy but just healthy was fine, boy or girl. It was such an easy pregnancy this time, no blood pressure problems or kidney issues at all! Night and Day different! I worked out diligently and tried to get in top physical shape before getting pregnant the 2nd time and it helped for sure. I didn't have to have a c-section this time, like I had with Melissa! It was so different! I'll never forget my precious daddy sitting right by my side in Labor and Delivery the entire time! I didn't know until later that Mom and Daddy were so sorry they didn't come right away when I had all the trouble with my pregnancy and delivery with Melissa that they came a week before Brad's due date. They were right there with me to be sure I did ok having a v-bac. I didn't realize the risk of hemorrhage but Daddy did and he told me later he was going to scrub in if I ended up having to go into surgery. Thank the Lord, I didn't! 11 hours of mild labor and then ta da! A 7 pound 3 ounce baby boy! I'll never forget, we didn't know if it was a boy or a girl until he came and as soon as Dr. Cohen said, "It's a boy!" Bill looked at me and mouthed the words, "Thank you!!" So sweet! Brad was such an easy and good baby just like Melissa had been. My mom said I was so lucky to have had 2 babies that were so good! Bradley is an amazing young man. He was so cute and fun as a little boy and Melissa and I LOVED, absolutely loved, to hear him get tickled and laugh when he was little! As a little guy he had the most delightful and contagious laugh! He loved balls, hats, and playing outside! I really enjoyed sitting out on our driveway in Livingston and watching he and Bill play baseball as Bill would pitch to him and when he got a hit he'd run all three bases, then home and immediately say, "again, daddy, again!" Now Brad is a very handsome and kind young man who is fun to talk to and he still makes us laugh, often. Brad as a very quick wit and a sharp sense of humor. He is very intuitive of others feelings and perceptions. Brad is very tech savvy and is pursuing a career in the film industry. He is very creative and artistic and he helped me learn how to use my i-phone and how to sell stuff on e-bay! I love my son and it's fun being his mom!
The first verse of the song I referred to says, "have what you want but want what you have". I so have what I want, and want what I have!! Thank you God! I am so blessed, more than I ever dreamed!
Let's "Turn Up The Music, take a few chances, use the good dishes, wear your red dress, make a big mess and make lots of wishes!"

Let's always have fun!

January of 2007 Bill and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary! It was also Bill's 10th anniversary as pastor of First Baptist Church. Our wonderful congregation and deacons surprised us with a special recognition of this occasion. They gave us a trip to a place of our choosing! We chose Disney World in Orlando because we love the golf courses, spas, shows, and the parks! We had taken the kids there in 2005 and that was the first time Brad and I had ever been. Melissa had been once with my brother Blake and his family. Bill had been once as a college student with his brother Keith. We loved our time there with our kids and stayed off property in 2005. This time, in 2007, just the two of us, we wanted to stay on property and enjoy the perks that go with that (early and late park hours, Disney Dining packages, bus transportation, etc). We found a special at the Saratoga Springs Resort for a week. This resort is right on Lake Buena Vista Golf Course and has it's own first class Spa on site. It is also within walking distance of Downtown Disney. The weather was perfect all week, and in January! We had just called a new minister of Music and a new Youth minister and things were finally settled down, peaceful, and truly "fun again" at the church and in the ministry. We had endured several difficult challenges over several years, very stressful, yet we never doubted God and His purpose throughout the ordeal. The timing was perfect! We were truly ready for a much needed get away to relax, reflect, and recharge. My darling Mom came and stayed at our house to be sure Brad was fed and the house was watched etc. We had an absolutely wonderful, magical, time at Walt Disney World with lots of golf, spa, shows, Disney Dining, Parks, recreational walking, (we love to walk and walk! Seriously!), and just time together. We went to the Disney Vacation Club sales presentation just to get our reward and guess what! We bought in! When Roland Lammers, our sales associate, said to Bill that there were golf and spa perks for members only, we were sold! When we returned home all refreshed and renewed and ready to plan our next trip, Melissa, our tax accountant daughter, looked at our paperwork and Disney Vacation Club points and she said, "this is the smartest thing yall have ever bought!". Now we have to make ourselves take a vacation regularly and we can even treat other family members as well! We took my Mom on one trip along with Melissa's now husband but was fiance at that time. Then we took all Bill's siblings and kids and had a family reunion there! Such fun we had! We had tried to get Bill's father to join us but he felt he just wasn't up to it. His brother, Marty came to Cottonwood, AZ to stay with him so Becky could leave and go to WDW with us all.

We were so glad we took Mom and even did the "behind the seeds" tour with her so she could see all the specifics of the property flower works and gardening. She was diagnosed with Leukemia shortly thereafter and we had to say goodbye to her in November of 2008. Then a bit sooner than we expected Bill's father, who was on dialysis, took a turn for the worse and we had to say goodbye to him that December of 2008. It was strange to both become "orphans" but yet we knew we had a heavenly Father who would sustain us and help us grieve and keep living for Him, even though our earthly parents were all gone now.

We were next able and delighted to take our Education Minister and his wife for a trip just the 4 of us! Then last December before Christmas, and after Melissa's wedding we took a trip there with Melissa and her new husband, his parents and Bill and Brad and me! We got to be there for all the Christmas decorations, shows, and parades! What an amazing blessing God allowed us to add to our list of unmerited but much appreciated and unexpected things!

We look back over the last decade, since we moved here in 1999, and we see how hard and extremely stressful the first 5 or 6 years here were. We can see now, in retrospect that God was at work and all the trials we endured were necessary and a part of His plan to get us to where we are now. I can truly say, it was worth it all and i did not doubt God nor lose my "joy" even in the darkest, toughest moments. God is so good.

Last summer we used our Disney point to spend a week in Sedona, AZ at a golf resort an spa. We made some wonderful new friends, Ken and Ronna Sorenson, from California. We shared a jeep when we did the "Pink Jeep" sunset tour there in the beautiful red rocks. We got to spend time with Becky, Bill's baby sister, and her family. We had planned to have time with Irv, Bill's dad too, but the Lord had already taken him. We decided to keep our plans the same and go anyway. We had the best trip ever! We even got to see the Grand Canyon for the first time for each of us! (Our kids are too grown up and busy with their own lives to join us on all our trips now, but that's ok. We include them whenever they can fit us in! Lol! That is the goal, right, parents? )

Bill and I learned together that we chose to "always have fun", that's what we say alot to each other, but deep down, we each know that really means, we are making a conscious choice to "choose joy" even when in the midst of a tough trial. We can do that, you can do that, God will give you the Grace, Strength, Reassurance, and under girding "joy" that keeps you hanging on until it gets fun again. I promise! He promises this in His word! Isaiah 60: 7 ,"...Everlasting joy will be yours".

Make a choice to always have fun, be joyful, be positive, allow God to work in you and through you and trust Him to bring you through trials you may face. You will have victory and wisdom gained after you endure whatever you may face.

Forgiveness

Have you ever been in a prison of bitterness and/or unforgiveness? Here is what I learned a few years back that helped me get out of that awful mindset and not ever get stuck back there.
Matthew 6:14 says, " If you forgive others for their sins, your Father in heaven will also forgive you for your sins." July 5th, 2006 this was the verse in my daily devotional reading in "Grace for the Moment" by Max Lucado. Max said in that reading that I could choose to chain myself to my hurt ... or I could choose to put away my hurts before they became hates... This started that day by getting my attention on a topic I was struggling with. Then that very night at Church Choir practice our director of Music shared a devotion that was on his heart. He quoted Colossians 3:13, " Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Choir members discussed this briefly and one of my close friends shared that she heard that carrying around unforgiveness was like drinking poison and then hoping that the person you refuse to forgive gets poisoned. I had an aha moment. I realized that was what I was doing.
The next morning I opened my devotion book and guess what the topic was! Yes, "Forgiveness, The Gift that Keeps on Giving"! As I began reading the attached scripture, " As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12
It went on to say, forgiveness is the act of pardoning another in spite of his or her errors, shortcomings, or wrong actions. God forgives sin. He is a God of grace and pardon who sent His own Son, Jesus Christ, to die for all humankind. Christ in His death and resurrection triumphed over sin. To be forgiven is to be identified with Christ in full victory of His Crucifixion and Resurrection. His forgiveness is complete. God promises if you confess He is faithful and just and will forgive your sins.
In the Lord's Prayer, you ask God to "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." though we are commanded to forgive other as we have been forgiven, sometimes we may have trouble moving from intellectual assent into true forgiveness. A friend can let you down, you can be a victim of crime or violence, or someone may betray your trust. It is hard to forgive when you are hurt.
When it is difficult to forgive, we have to come to God and ask for the ability to forgive. He will supernaturally give us what we ask him for in Jesus name and within His will. This kind of forgiveness becomes a healing gift. Forgiveness releases God to work in a situation and transform it. As long as forgiveness is resisted you stay locked in the same situation - one adversary facing another, waiting for someone to acknowledge wrongdoing. Forgiveness is an act of pardon. Forgiveness facilitates reconciliation and transformation turning a negative situation into an opportunity for positive change. Making a choice to forgive, even if the perpetrator doesn't ask for it nor deserve it, can release you from the cycle of anger, bitterness, wrongdoing, even sickness and elevated blood pressure! Forgiveness issued by you can free you from the psychological control you are giving to that other person over you. The other person may not even be aware of how you are feeling and have forgotten and moved on while you are still stewing in your anger. Choosing to forgive is a tremendous step toward breaking the chain of pain and entering into freedom.
Patsy Clairmont, at Women of Faith caught my attention when she said, "Forgiveness is a process and it comes off in layers". Yes! I could relate! When I was struggling through a particularly hurtful time and having to choose to issue forgiveness, it would tend to creep back up and I had to daily reissue that forgiveness. Like Patsy said, it came off in layers, every day it got easier and easier to say out loud again, "I choose to forgive" until one day it didn't creep back up and I was truly past it! Yes, we are human, and yes, we can forgive but we do have a memory, and we can't forget like God does. He is divine and He promises that once He has forgiven us, it is as far from His mind as the east is from the west! Isn't that just amazing! He remembers it no more! Wow! How wonderful! I wish I could do that.
I Corinthians 13:5 says, "Love isn't selfish or quick tempered. It doesn't keep a record of wrongs that others do." Lord, give me that kind of Love!
Matthew 5:7 " Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy."
That is my prayer, "Lord, give me your love and mercy for others. In my humanness, I cannot love, forgive, or be merciful, only through your gift of these characteristics to me and through me. Instill me with the traits I need to bring glory to you Lord. Without you, I am nothing. "
Things to do:
Go to someone you have offended and ask forgiveness.
Forgive someone you have been holding a grudge against.
Pray a silent prayer for peace, love, and wholeness for our country.
Send a thank you note to someone who helped or forgave you.
Let someone cut ahead of you in the line at the store or in traffic.
Make an appointment and talk to a counselor or your pastor if you are struggling with guilt, anger, and grief caused by the hurtful acts of others.

My cup runneth over!

A blog is where I want to be able to share more specifics on what God is doing in our lives and here in Grand Prairie. I think a blog will let me share even more and hopefully encourage others, make them laugh, and give glory and honor to God as He continues to work in our lives and where we live.

When we lived in Livingston for almost 10 years, I thought we had reached the pinacle of our lives. We had everything and more that we had ever hoped for. We had two wonderful children, a girl and a boy! We had jobs we loved and we had just bought our first house, a house we were very pleased with! Bill had a ministerial staff and their wives that we absolutely treasured and enjoyed! Like the Brad Paisley song, "It Did", we felt life could not get any better, but guess what? It Did!

We moved here to Grand Prairie in June of 1998. We love the DFW Metroplex! The church Bill was called here to pastor is First Baptist Church of Grand Prairie. Of course the transition of moving was rough, more on that later, but the outcome was even better than we ever dreamed! God is so good, all the time!

I hope to start blogging various events in our lives and our kid's lives if they give me their blessings on that ! I also, hope to share what God is teaching me and even hear back from you who wish to share.

Here goes....

I am officially now a blogger!